


So You Want to Open A Catering Business

by DJClawson



Series: Theodore Nelson's Adventures in Sharing a Workspace [9]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Iron Fist (TV), Luke Cage (TV), The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Bisexuality, Buddhist Danny, F/M, Homosexuality, I don't think, I haven't actually watched it, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, M/M, Not Iron Fist Season 2 complaint, The continuing adventures of Danny's office plant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 13:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17509400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DJClawson/pseuds/DJClawson
Summary: The usual problems you might encounter on a job: employees stealing food, attack by a criminal syndicate, and running into your ex while escaping said syndicate.





	So You Want to Open A Catering Business

**Author's Note:**

> If I fail out of grad school this is all y'all's fault. As usual, if you've got requests for this series, leave them in the comments and I'll do my best.
> 
> Thanks to Pogopop for her beta work!

“Yeah, Pop,” Theo said to the phone, which was on speaker while he sorted the morning’s deliveries. “Yeah, you should ask mom. Ask mom! Oh, look, gotta go, got my first customer.” 

He was lying; the shop wasn’t open yet, and Foggy was often the first person to arrive to open Nelson and Murdock with his usual chipper morning personality. “I’m not a customer,” he said. “And I would have said hi.”

“Yeah, but Pop’s too stoned to talk to anyone anyway. He called me to ask where Mom put the food in their new kitchen.”

“But he’s doing better?”

“I’m not sure if he’s doing better or he feels better because he’s too high to use his limbs,” Theo said. An unusual amount of steak remained on the counter while he figured out how to rewrap it. 

“Ugh, I can never go to that condo,” Foggy said, surveying the order. “I’m thinking of going on the paleo diet. Working out of a butcher shop doesn’t give me a lot of options.”

Theo didn’t mention the obvious option. “This isn’t for you. It’s yak meat.”

“Since when do you stock yak meat?”

“Since never. But your pal Rand ordered some, and he’s gotta take the whole thing off my hands, because I don’t know how to cook it and I don’t think I can sell it raw.”

“What does it taste like?” Foggy paused, and remembered. “Do you need someone to try it and tell you what it tastes like? Because I can make that sacrifice for you. It’ll be hard, but I can manage.”

“I’ve cooked buffalo and they’re both bison, but there’s probably a reason we don’t get a lot of call for it.” 

“If you want to expand your culinary horizons, you know where to find me,” Foggy said before dropping a coffee for Theo on the counter. He paused just before he reached the door to the back room.

Theo looked and he knew that face - it was the “Foggy has an idea” face, and Theo wasn’t a huge fan. 

“Thanks for the coffee, but whatever you’re thinking, no, I’m not interested.”

“But you could do catering, right? You’ve done catering. Pop catered things.”

“Yeah, like family events. More than that I have to close shop and hire staff.”

“What if it was worth your time? Like what if it was one event where you were  _ massively _ overpaid?”

“You can barely afford rent for a spare room.”

“Danny Rand is made of money and doesn’t know what to do with it,” Foggy said. “He pays Jeri Hogarth a million dollars a year retainer to do nothing. He once  _ bought a hospital _ because he had a crush on a woman who was recovering there.”

“Really? I kind of hate him now.”

“Beyond the feelings of insane jealousy that any rational person would be experiencing, let me say, it is not bad to be friends with a rich person. And I know him, but Matt is friends with the guy.”

“You mean he fights crime with him.”

“Allegedly!” Foggy said. “You gotta say allegedly! And you shouldn’t be in the habit of saying it at all!” 

Theo shrugged. “It slipped.”

“You can’t let it slip!” Foggy didn’t have to turn to see who was coming in as the bells on the front door chimed. “Matt - please talk Danny into giving Theo too much money for meat.”

“What, you want me to text him?” Matt said. He nodded to Theo. “How much do you need?”

“I don’t think you guys are very good friends for him to have.”

“We’re not asking for you to do anything illegal or immoral,” Foggy said. “Danny’s an executive. He probably needs catering for lots of fancy people who eat things like baby lamb chops and oysters on beds of caviar. And you charge a little for the service.”

“I won’t serve oysters,” Theo said. “I sell all kinds of animals, but only when they’re dead. Oysters are alive when you eat them. I have to draw the line somewhere.”

Matt frowned. “They make noises.”

“What? Really? Gross.” Foggy did look properly disgusted. “Fine, no oysters. Wow, it’s too early in the morning for this conversation. But we’ll call him, okay?”

“Danny likes to fix problems with money,” Matt assure Theo. “Let him.” 

Theo wanted to refuse, but he swallowed his pride and said, “I’ll think about it.”

  
  


Not unexpectedly, Foggy worked his magic, because when Danny Rand came by to pick up his yak meat order (in person!), he casually said, “So I hear you do catering?”

“Small-scale, yeah,” Theo said. “How many people?”

Danny shrugged. “It’s for the cleaning and janitorial stuff. So ... it’s a big building, but it can’t be more than a hundred?”

“You’re having a party for your cleaning people?”

“I’ve been told that not many people throw fancy parties for them,” Danny said, completely unironically, as if someone had actually recently told him this and it was news to him. “Whereas I get invited to cocktail parties all the time and I don’t do half the work they do.”

“You could just pay them more,” Theo said, because he really didn’t have enough of a filter.

“So I did, but this is my apology party for them not having dental until last year,” Danny said. “But I’m not calling it that.”

Danny was either the greatest or worst CEO; Theo honestly had no idea. “I can probably do it, but I need specifics, like size and menu so I can hire staff.”

“Come to my office. My administrative assistant knows everything that I should probably know.” Danny looked at his phone. “When are you free?”

  
  


Foggy, being the smartass he was, said, “Told you.”

The four of them were drinking after work. Someone had cleared off enough surface space for them to put beers down. 

“I’m not going to rip this guy off,” Theo said. “Just so you know, that’s not what’s happening.”

“I would find it strange if you suddenly owned a yacht,” Foggy said. “Though if you did, you could probably name it rou - “

“No rough riders jokes!”

Karen giggled. Karen rarely giggled, and she definitely wasn’t drunk yet, because she had the tolerance of a grizzly bear who was also an alcoholic, so it was a legitimate giggle.

“I don’t get it,” Matt admitted.

“There’s an fourteen-hour Ken Burns special on the Roosevelts,” Foggy said. “You probably only need the first hour or two to cover it. But if you make it through, you’ll be the first person in the world who did. PBS might send you a letter of congratulations.”

“You’ve tried?” Karen asked.

“It’s a helpful sleep aid,” Foggy admitted. 

“I don’t even know what to wear to this meeting,” Theo said.

“We’ll help you,” Foggy said. “And Matt will go with you. I would, but Danny is Hogarth’s client, and lawyers get hella territorial. And Matt has probably already been in the building.”

“Once,” Matt said, and clearly not related to lawyering, Theo guessed. “You practically have to give a blood sample and let them sequence your DNA to get in there.”

“Because of Occupy Wall Street types?”

“Because Danny is constantly attacked by ninjas,” Matt clarified. “He’s not afraid, so I think the security is just for legal purposes. To reassure the shareholders.”

“Or possibly it’s an excuse to collect genetic material to make clones of us,” Foggy said. “I put  _ nothing _ past mega corporations.”

“How did Danny get this job?” Theo asked, because he didn’t seem the type.

“Inherited a majority shareholder position since his parents died in a plane crash,” Matt said. 

“Just sentences like that make me want to join the Democratic Socialists of America,” Foggy said.

“They won’t let you in with a watch as expensive as yours,” Matt said.

“Private possessions are not a problem as long as I don’t exploit the worker,” Foggy replied. “Come on, guys. We have nothing to lose but our chains!”

  
  


Foggy was good on his word, and came by Friday night to help Theo pick out clothing - or just find his one suit, which didn’t leave much choice for them. Instead he drank Theo’s liquor and asked a few, extremely roundabout questions about Matt, indicating that he was curious to see how the relationship was going, but decidedly  _ not _ curious about any of the physical details. And since Theo had never shared anything in his sexual history with his brother before, he was fine with that condition. 

“He hasn’t asked you to stitch him up, has he? I was very unfortunate in revealing that I learned how to sew in theater camp.”

“You learned how to sew because you were always losing your buttons and Mom was sick of dealing with it,” Theo said. Normally Sadie would be sitting on some part of his body by now, but she was in hiding while Foggy was present, despite his brother’s attempts to find her. Foggy had seen Sadie maybe three times in his life, and that wasn’t for lack of trying - though for the first month Theo had her and she was still scratching him up until she drew blood when he tried to feed her, he didn’t let anyone into his apartment to try to pet his new, very feral cat.

“You didn’t answer.”

“No, he has not asked me to patch him up,” Theo said. “And I’m really more used to dealing with turkey legs and they don’t have to look pretty.”

“Don’t let him find out, because then he’s gonna ask,” Foggy said. “And then you’re stuck dealing with it and I don’t know how you can even do it with cows because I  _ cannot _ , but it’s too late to back out of it now. I had to move to Park Slope to get him to leave me alone.”

“I thought you moved in to be with Marci.”

“I can have multiple reasons for moving!” Foggy said. “I gotta use your bathroom.”

Theo was left with the idea of trying to sew a wound on a human rather than use twine to make sure stuffing stayed in place inside a turkey until he heard Foggy scream - a scream that had not dropped with Foggy’s voice when he hit puberty - and shouted, “Fuck!” He scrambled out. “Why do you have a cat in your shower?”

Theo shrugged. “Why did you feel the need to intrude in her space?”

  
  


Theo got up early the next day to put mousse in his hair and shave so he looked less like a homeless hippie, and was at the shop for the morning delivery before handing the keys off one his cashiers who definitely needed a raise the moment he could afford it. 

“I need Monday off,” she said, with a lot of attitude because Theo was a pushover and she had clocked that early enough.

“Yeah, okay.” He would probably agree to anything in this state, he was so nervous, and relieved to hear the tap of Matt’s cane against the sidewalk. “How do I look?” he said, then stammered, “Fuck, I just asked you - “

“I’m sure you look fine,” Matt said. “There’s still some starch in your suit and Foggy gave you one of his ties.”

“I have my own ties,” Theo said. “I - have at least two of them. I just couldn’t find them. And how do you know?”

“It smells of the dry cleaner Foggy used to use on 59th.”

Theo shook his head. “Still a creepy motherfucker.” He opened his rideshare app, because Matt hated the subway and  _ refused _ to take a traditional cab for some reason. “Shit! I have to learn to stop cursing in the next twenty minutes.”

“It’ll probably take another twenty to get through security, so you have time,” Matt assured him. “You’re gonna be fine. And even if you’re not, it’s still fine. It’s Danny.”

“For a friend, you don’t hold this guy in very high esteem.”

Matt smiled. “He’s good at other things.”

“... Like?”

“Punching. Some of the time. Oh, and if he starts talking about dragons, just smile and nod.”

Theo had no desire to ask what that was about.

Matt wasn’t joking about the security issues. Theo thought it was downright rude that the front desk officer told Matt to take off his glasses and look into the camera, and Matt, doing the blind thing (and actually being blind) had to feel around for the camera. And he hated taking off his glasses in public, so Theo wanted to punch the guard’s teeth in, however unrealistic that fantasy might have been, so instead he just seethed until their security badges were printed and they were admitted into a special elevator that took them so high up so quickly it made Theo a little dizzy.

“I’m sorry. That guy was a dick.”

“Not your fault,” Matt said calmly. “I couldn’t actually tell where the camera was, in case you were wondering. They keep making them in different shapes and sizes and when they’re powered down, they don’t make any noise.”

“There’s a camera on this elevator,” Theo said. “At your ten, all the way up on the ceiling in the corner.”

“Those I can hear. They’re running. But some of it’s context because electric devices can sound similar. But expensive elevators always have cameras.”

There was another layer of security in the hallway on the executive floor - a metal detector and a guy with a wand who also scanned their badges before waving them through. From there it was all glass and a waterfall cascading over a rock wall with a Buddha statue beneath it.

“The statue’s got coins in its lap,” Theo said. “Like in Chinatown.”

“Danny is actually pretty serious about some things,” Matt said. “Like Buddhism. Or, Buddhism from a sect in another dimension. Oh, and here he comes.”

The door to Danny’s office swung open. “Hey!” He looked really excited to see Matt, way too much for a business meeting. He also  _ reeked _ of weed and incense but his eyes were fine so that was probably just how his office smelled. “Thank you for getting me out of that awful meeting. Board members are the worst.” He hugged Matt and his hand out to Theo. “Nice to see you again.”

“Likewise,” Theo said.

Danny led them into his office. It had all of the appropriate furnishings of a big fancy person office - floor-to-ceiling glass windows, a massive desk, leather chairs that probably cost more than the rent on Theo’s apartment, and one of those pendulum ball things that Theo didn’t know the name of. But it also had a massive, psychedelic painting of an Asian god framed in silk with an altar in front of it with candles set in gold lamps, and one of the walls looked like a rainforest.

“Is that moss on the wall of your office?” Matt said, because it probably smelled like plant to him.

“That’s where my gift office plant is at,” Danny explained. “It’s pretty much taken over the east wall. I think it might be all the chemicals we test in the building or something. Or maybe someone just stashed the last of his drugs in the pot hoping he could come back for them and now I have a plant fueled by synthetic heroin.” 

This was not a good explanation, but Matt asked no more questions.

“Let’s go into the conference room,” Danny said, ushering them into the opposite door. “I don’t like to talk to people from my desk. It creates the illusion of a hierarchical structure between social equals.”

“You’ve been reading Luke’s books again, haven’t you?” Matt asked one of his charming fucking grins.

“This one was from Colleen,” Danny said. “Let me just call in Megan - she actually knows all the specifics.”

His administrative assistant joined them after being buzzed and there were introductions all around before they got down to business. Megan had most of the hard data about numbers and all Danny did was interject with crazier and crazier suggestions, which didn’t seem to surprise her in the least. She was so used to it she didn’t even roll her eyes.

“And we need momos! With lamb!”

Theo was making notes. “The dumplings?”

“They’re basically wontons, but that’s a Chinese term, and if you use it, Tibetans get mad because China invaded their country,” Danny said. “So you have to call them momos. And you should probably get a professional momo guy because they have all of these shapes that are super hard to make and take a really long time. I would do it but I’m not fast enough. It’s a good form of meditation.”

“So you want me to hire a Tibetan chef?”

“Nepalese is also fine as long as he knows good recipes. Or she. If she knows good recipes.” Danny was trying so hard and it was so adorable. “And we need a vegetarian table and a vegan table and a kosher table and a halal table.”

“Everything that’s kosher is also halal, but you need a separate caterer for that,” Theo explained. “The food has to come in double-wrapped and you need plasticware and a guy who’s just paid to stand there in case someone tries to put it on the same shelf with the other food.”

“Can you get that guy? Or girl?”

“Yeah.” Theo was under strict instructions to try not to say no to anything and not worry about the cost, but he drew the line at haggis because he didn’t know how to make it, didn’t want to learn, and knew that no one in their right mind would ever eat it. “Plus it’s actually a breakfast food,” he said. 

Yes, Danny did want a carving station and a vegan carving station and Theo explained that tofu slicing was not an appetizing thing, because G-d, this guy. 

“Danny!” someone shouted as he stormed into the room waving a folder. “Where the hell have you -” Then he stopped and said, “Oh.”

And Theo stifled an “Oh” too because his _ Ex. Fucking. Boyfriend. _ was right in front of him. 

Staring at him.

He was probably staring back. Theo forced himself to look down at his notes. 

Matt probably knew, because he was fucking psychic, but he didn’t flinch. He never did. 

Danny noticed absolutely nothing because he was Danny, and just patiently waited for the guy who was definitely Ward fucking Meachum to restart. “Um, hi,” he said, having lost a lot of his steam. 

“Hi,” Theo said in a very general sense that he hoped gave nothing away.

“Hello,” Matt said, thankfully contributing to the conversation.

Ward refocused on Danny. “The second you’re out of here I need you to sign some documents. Do not sneak out for lunch and do not toke up and forget that I told you this.”

“Do you want to look over the catering contract?”

“No,” Ward said. “I’m sure it’s a good caterer. Give them whatever they want.”

And then he walked out like that wasn’t a big fucking thing, and it wasn’t to Danny or Megan, though Matt was definitely on to him.

Matt cleared his throat and said, “We’d like to add a rider to the contract specifying that if Nelson Catering provides services for the evening but is endangered by some sort of physical attack because someone’s trying to kill you, the fee is automatically doubled.”

“Oh come on,” Danny said. “What are the chances of that?”

  
  


“Great, now there’s a hundred percent chance of that happening,” Theo said in the elevator. “This is my life now.”

“A yacht will still be out of your price range, but you could get a paddle boat.”

“How do you know what paddle boats cost?”

“I don’t. It’s just the only type of boat I’ve been on that’s not the Staten Island Ferry.” Matt waited for the conversation to lull, then said, “How do you know Ward Meachum?”

“Can you read minds?”

“Your heart rate shot up when he came in the room.”

Theo supposed that was fair. “Remember the guy I told you about? The serious relationship that ended with me adopting Sadie?”

“That was Ward?”

“I can’t believe I forgot he was the fucking CFO of Rand. I knew he had a high-level corporate position, but he never talked about work, so the details kind of faded for me.”

“If it helps, he was nervous, too. He was just trying not to act it. He was terrified of you.”

“Yeah, we didn’t end on a good note.” He sighed. “I’m still going to do this job, but I really hope he’s not there.”

“From what I understand, he usually is at Rand events involving Danny, because he has to walk back a lot of Danny’s promises,” Matt explained. “And get him to stop talking about dragons.”

“What is this dragon thing?”

“Danny punched a dragon. In the heart. Which was, I think, in a pot at the time.”

“Yeah, he does seem like a stoner.”

“If he brings it up, smile and nod. At least until the check clears.” Matt grimaced. “You don’t have to do this event if you don’t want to.”

“I’m a professional and so is he,” Theo said. “I’ve had time to get over it and I’m not going to let it get in the way of work.”

“Foggy and I could go. As staff.”

“Did he really eat an entire tray of caviar canapés at a university function?”

“We were broke law students,” Matt said. “But yes, he did. He would have probably had a second but we got caught.”

“So you see my problem.”

“I’ll still go,” Matt said. “I want to be there to protect you when the event get attacked.”

  
  


Which is 100% what happened.

This was Theo’s life now.

He didn’t know what Danny had done to upset some Sri Lankan gangsters, or even that there  _ were _ Sri Lankan gangsters in New York City - but then again, why couldn’t Sri Lankans be gangsters like everyone else? But man, were they pissed - enough to block all of the exits. Maybe they just had a thing against the cleaning staff. 

Everyone scattered in the many possible directions for an office building, some grabbing trays as they went with them, which Theo was sure he wasn’t getting back but also couldn’t blame them for. Janitorial work already sucked without the possibility of death by machete; let them have the mini lamb chops that health regulations would require him to throw out anyway. Not that Theo was above it - if he made it out alive, it was going to be with a container of the best swordfish money could buy even if Sadie wouldn’t properly appreciate it, and there was plenty of it because people just went for the buffalo sliders anyway. 

And that tray was silver - he was keeping that too. Was silver bulletproof?

Theo was a New Yorker and therefore smart enough not to get in an elevator during an emergency, and ended up huddling in the fire stairs on the lowest floor that remained unblocked, two floors down from the action. He was alone in this particular set of stairs because he had been in the kitchen when the trouble started, and Matt burst through the doors and pushed him in that direction, explaining that it was empty, and therefore safer, and would not be contained until Theo agreed to go in there and as far down as he could. Then Matt turned and stomped back in the direction of the fight, and Theo was curious to remain and see what he could do in the flesh, but Theo’s desire to survive the night overrode this. 

He called 911, not even sure if he should do that and certain that other people would have done the same, and that security was already on their way, but feeling the need to do something helpful. Then he called Foggy because Mom and Pop did not need this stress in their lives.

“G-d fucking damnit,” was how Foggy answered the phone. “I assume you’re not calling me because it’s going too well. I should have just eaten the mini steak sandwiches before you left.”

“I’m fine, thanks for asking,” Theo said. “So is Matt, last time I saw him.”

“Is it ninjas? It’s always ninjas with him.”

“I don’t think ninjas have machetes. They have swords and nunchucks, right?”

“I want to say that life is not like the Ninja Turtles, but our lives are increasingly like the Ninja Turtles,” Foggy said. “Did you get out?”

“The exits are blocked. Matt said I would be safe here.”

“Right, because he has a good idea of what safe is,” Foggy said, taking a second to add, “I mean, you’ll be okay. That’s what I meant. Don’t freak out. I’ll call the police.”

“There are like a hundred people here. I think the police are aware.”

“I’m coming.”

“Don’t call Mom.”

“If I called Mom every time I was danger, her sleep cycle would never recover,” Foggy said. “Marci says hi. And that she hopes you get out alive. I’m still coming. She’s going back to bed, but not because she doesn’t care about you.”

“I understand.”

“Hang in there.”

Foggy was almost too well-composed for someone whose brother and law partner were in what might already be or might turn into a hostage situation in a Manhattan skyscraper. Theo clutched the aluminum tin of fish to his chest and debated who else to call who wouldn’t also call his parents. 

He was actually debating opening his Solitaire app when the door to the stairwell swung open and someone staggered down the stairs. Theo tried to hide, then realized he had nowhere to go, and if he was going to die, it might as well not being in a painful crouching position. 

“Fucking Danny,” Ward Meachum said, his usually slicked-back hair hilariously askew. Because Theo’s night just couldn’t get any better. He looked like he could barely process that Theo was there. “Murdock send you down here?”

Theo nodded.

“There’s something up with that guy, right? The people Danny knows, he knows from some ninja club.” 

Theo said nothing.

Ward groaned and sat down on the step not directly next to him, but a few steps up and to the side. “Do you have anything to smoke?”

“I don’t think this is the time.”

“Not weed. I’m clean. Painfully, desperately clean. So clean I can’t take it.” 

“Oh, good. Good for you.” Theo wasn’t being sarcastic. Ward had been a real doctor of legal and illegal pharmacology and introduced him to all kinds of mixtures that made Theo late to work the next day. He must have finally gotten himself in real trouble and then out of it again. 

“Good for you, too, because if you said you had drugs right now I would definitely murder you for them,” Ward said. He sighed and said, a lot more gently, “ ... How are you?” He left that question very open-ended.

“Good. I mean, aside from,” and Theo gestured to the noises upstairs, “all that. I really hope Danny doesn’t get killed.”

“I hope your lawyer doesn’t get killed,” Ward said. “He probably put a bunch of riders in the contract that means we’ll be buying you a yacht.”

“Not a yacht,” Theo said. “I will be compensated for the danger Matt guessed I would be put in. Other than that, I kept things reasonable. I’m not out to cheat anyone.”

Ward smiled very hesitantly. “It’s good to know you haven’t changed. Everyone else is so fucking different.”

Ward sounded sad. It got the better of Theo, who asked, “How’s Joy?”

“Not speaking to me. And tried to kill me a bunch of times. I supposed it was only a matter of time after Danny appeared after going through a portal to another dimension or something.”

“You never mentioned him.”

“Because I thought he died in a plane crash when I was a kid!” Ward explained. “Then he shows back up, sues us for our hard-earned shares, and it’s all headless goons and trips to China that he doesn’t know how to expense and expects me to show him.” 

Theo laughed. He knew Ward wouldn’t like it, but also that Ward wouldn’t complain. 

Ward didn’t like the silence. Or maybe it was the sound of things being destroyed in his office upstairs. “So you have a catering company now?”

“I don’t think this is going to be a regular thing. I had to close the shop to get ready for this.”

“Your parents okay?”

“They retired to Florida,” Theo said. “Pop’s arthritis is pretty bad.”

“Is he on a biologic?” 

“Humira.”

“Is it helping?”

“It’s hard to tell. He’s still on it, though.”

“If Medicare gives him shit about paying for it, give me a call. Or if you don’t want to call me, call Danny, since Murdock has his number. We’ll sort it out.”

Ward was good for it. Theo nodded. “Thanks, man. I need that.”

“I don’t know what you think of me, but I’m not always a terrible person.”

“I didn’t say you were a terrible person,” Theo said. “I mean, I might have said that at least once, but I don’t still think that.”

“How are you, really?” 

“I’m good,” Theo said. “I got a cat. I run my own business. I’m seeing someone. And as soon as the payment from Rand Corp goes through, I’m about to be financially stable for the first time in my life.”

“Get a Roth IRA. If you don’t have one already.”

Theo nodded. He had to survive the night first. “How are you?”

“My life is mostly stopping Danny from doing things, and going to NA meetings.”

“That’s good. The second thing, I mean.”

“Well, I should have listened to you years ago. NA is the worst. The fucking worst.”

“I stuck with weed,” Theo said. He never went far beyond it because he had to be up in the morning, working a meat slicer. “Danny seems nice.”

“We’re not dating, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Ward said, though without menace. “The last time I got laid is with my sponsor. Which is why I’m looking for a new sponsor.”

“You always told me your life was too boring to talk about.”

Ward cracked a smile. “It used to be. Now it’s all zombies and dragons and I just saw a blind guy do a backflip and knock someone unconscious with his cane and I suppose you won’t tell me anything about it.”

Theo shrugged. “ _ I _ didn’t see it.”

The emergency exit door was chained up, but that didn’t stop someone from slamming hard against it with their body - again and again - until the whole thing popped off its hinges, and Luke Cage walked through like it was nothing. He was wearing a suit, sans jacket, and looked like he had not planned on the evening going the way it did.

He paused, ever calm, and said, “You okay?”

“Yes,” Theo said before Ward could. “Did Foggy call you?”

“Just got off the phone with him, but I was already on my way. Got a ringtone for Danny’s emergency cell. Like I don’t have other stuff to do.” He checked his phone. “Where’s the action?”

They both pointed straight up, and Ward added, “They have machetes.”

“Of course they do,” was all Luke said to that. “The way’s clear. Get outta here. Someone’ll call when we’re done.”

“Thank you,” Theo said, and they scrambled down the rest of the stairs, stopping only to catch their breath at various points. 

“Hey,” he said to a huffing Ward. “Are you a Defender?”

“A public defender?”

“No, I mean, are you in the superhero group with Danny and Luke?”

“They have a name? Who the fuck named them?” Ward said, which had its own logic to it. “If you’re asking me if I allegedly fight crime with them, or whatever it is that they do, the answer is no. Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering,” Theo lied. 

Another ten stories down, Ward said, “Look, I know you’re probably not going to want to see me again, so I should say ...,” he trailed off while trying to catch his breath. “I’m sorry. About how it ended.”

“I said some bad shit so - I’m sorry, too,” Theo replied. “You were right, by the way. My parents already knew. Just not when we were actually together. More recently.” He also needed a moment to breath. “And don’t expect a pride flag over the counter at Nelson’s Meats, because I’ve got some terrible fucking customers.”

“You don’t see one here,” Ward said. “Though it would be ... a good corporate move. For publicity ... if people knew what the bisexual flag looked like.”

“There isn’t a holiday for it?”

“Do I look like I have the fucking time to find out?”

When they reached the front lobby, the police pointed their guns at them, then rushed them to the waiting EMTs when they confirmed that they weren’t the assailants. After insisting he was fine, Theo realized he should start asking if his employees were alive. Waves of people were flooding into the street, but most of them were not in tuxedo vests so it was easy to find his contract workers and assure them that he was okay (it was nice that they cared), and yes, they would be getting paid. 

At which point there was an explosion in the penthouse, and Theo cursed and called Foggy. “Hey. I’m out. Matt isn’t.”

“Did the building fall?”

“No.”

“Did you see Luke?”

“He got the doors open for us.”

“Are you okay?”

Theo had just almost been killed and his boyfriend might be dead in a fiery explosion, but he said, “Yeah.” 

“Let the EMTs check you anyway, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just get here.” He didn’t want to deal with worrying about Matt alone. 

“Love you too,” Foggy said before hanging up.

Theo let them pat him down and look for bloodstains, but yes, aside from some serious cramps from running, he was fine. A police officer asked for his contact information and Theo gave a brief statement about what he saw, then was told he might be contacted in the future. And there were no new explosions before Foggy’s Uber showed up, so that was a good sign. 

“Hey,” was all Theo could manage to say before Foggy got him in a serious bear hug. If Foggy was any stronger, he would have crushed him. “I’m fine.”

“I shouldn’t have gotten you involved in Danny’s shit. Which is also my shit now.”

“It was all of our shit the moment aliens invaded New York,” Theo reminded him. “And Fisk blew up the neighborhood.”

“You think Mom and Pop have seen the news?”

“I don’t know if this has made the news,” Theo replied. “They’re probably asleep. Or they’ll call.” Foggy’s phone rang. “See?”

But Foggy took it out and the screen said BURNER. “Are you okay?” he said as a greeting. “Where are you now? Yeah, Theo’s fine.” There were some ‘okays’ and ‘uh-huhs’ before Foggy was done. He turned to Theo and said, “Everyone’s okay. As much as they ever are. Matt’s gonna come down with Luke and play confused blind man until we can get him away.” 

That took a while, probably because the elevators were out, and Danny came out first and was mobbed by the police and the reporters who had made their way to the scene. Luke followed shortly after, but out a side door with Matt, then quickly separated from him.

“Hey,” Matt said. He was missing his jacket and glasses, the lower half of his tie was shredded, and there was blood spray on his shirt, but Foggy hugged him anyway. “I’m fine.” He added, “It’s not my blood.”

“You should have a doctor look at you anyway,” Foggy said. 

“No, I have to get back out there.” He did not gesture to the media circus immediately to their right. Theo grabbed him and hugged him and hoped maybe somehow he could hold him there by doing so. Matt kissed him on the cheek - perhaps their first open display of affection - but squirmed out his grasp. “Someone got away. I have to find them before the scent goes cold.”

“What are you, a dog?” Theo asked. “Someone else can handle it.”

“No, I think they’re busy.” Matt gestured vaguely in the direction of Danny and Luke. 

“Oh, shit. I’m still Luke’s lawyer,” Foggy said. “I gotta stop him before he gives one his speeches. Theo, text me when you get home safe. Matt, text me when you’re done with your thing.”

“Don’t let anyone mention the name of the caterer!” Theo shouted as Foggy ran over to join the growing crowd of press and make his way through them. “It’s gotta be bad publicity. Not that I’m letting Danny hire me again.”

Matt was so damn cute when he laughed. “It’s not always like this.”

“From what I heard from Ward, it kinda is,” Theo said, then felt compelled to add, “We talked in the stairway.”

“Oh.” Matt was completely neutral, which was both scary and freeing.

“He apologized about, you know, everything in the past. And so did I. But I’ll still be fine if I never see him again.” Again, he couldn’t help himself. “He’s not technically a Defender, is he?”

Matt took a second to realize what he was talking about. “Nope, you’re still tied with Luke.”

“I’m glad we’re laughing about it and you’re not dead, because I saw that explosion.”

“That was on Danny. And relax - nothing caught. It was ancient dragon fire, not regular fire.” 

“Sure, whatever,” Theo said. “Oh, and Ward’s on to you.”

“Who isn’t these days?” There was something about post-battle Matt that was so ... happy with the world. Theo wasn’t sure what that meant and decided that, like a lot of things about tonight, he wasn’t going to think too hard about it. 

“I’ll come by later. Or at least call, if I can’t make it over,” Matt said.

“What if I asked you to stop? Call it a night? Maybe forever?”

Matt gently touched Theo by the ear and pressed their heads together. “Then you wouldn’t like the answer.” He kissed him again, this time on his forehead. “I have to go.”

“Be careful, you motherfucker,” Theo said. He didn’t raise his voice, but he was positive that Matt heard him.

  
  


“Sadie!” Theo shouted when he finally came in the door. She was curled up on his bed. “Just once, can you at least pretend to be happy I’m home? I could have died tonight. And then Foggy would take you and you hate Foggy.” To be fair, Foggy was aggressive in his affections for animals and that was not Sadie’s jam. 

She only picked her head up and showed any interest in his presence when he waved the container of swordfish in front of her nose. “Don’t you complain about anything ever again, you spoiled cat.” He dumped the silver platter on the floor in place of her food bowl, and spooned just a little bit out. Sadie followed him. “The rest is going in the freezer because I don’t want you to make yourself sick.” She sniffed his fingers as he held the container up out of her reach with the other hand. She even nipped at his forefinger, just to prove that she could, not hard enough to break skin. “Yeah, I love you too.” He had to redirect her attention to the fish on the platter so she didn’t bite his hand off. 

Theo stripped off his new chef’s coat and dumped it in the hamper. He was almost too tired to shower but he forced himself and dried his hair just enough to get into bed. He expected to be wired from the most dangerous evening of his life, but next thing he knew his body was heavy from sleep and Matt was knocking on his window.

“Damnit,” Theo said, even though he wasn’t really mad. He couldn’t stay mad at Matt. He supposed it was a genetic flaw in the Nelson family line or something, but he was a lot more understanding of Foggy’s endless patience for Matt and his pretty face. Theo unlocked the window. “Tell me you’re not bleeding.”

“I’m not bleeding  _ a lot _ ,” Matt said. “They’re just surface cuts.”

So Theo spent yet another Saturday night in his bathroom, where the light was best, sticking Avengers-branded band-aids on his boyfriend, who for the record looked better when he was not bleeding, as Theo made sure to tell him. “We’re all out of Cap. You want War Machine or Vision?”

“Which one is War Machine?”

“I think he’s like, Iron Man’s alternate? He’s got a suit but it’s not as cool?”

“Is it going to look good in court?”

Just for that, Theo used the biggest one he had on the cut right across Matt’s forehead. 

“I trust you.”

“You are the worst,” Theo said. “You are the worst boyfriend I have ever fucking had.”

Matt had a stupid grin on his face. “Are you dumping me?”

“No, I’m not,” Theo said with a sigh. “I should, but I won’t.”

Because Matt was also the best boyfriend Theo had ever had. 

This was his life now.

The End


End file.
